Kyle’s Story, his journey with the TV series Gok’s Teens and how The Linden Method helped him

Charles, Kyle and Gok in London

Hi, I’m kyle and I’m 15 years old. I am an ex-anxiety sufferer and now I want to share all about the things which affected me, and how the people at the Linden method helped me.

I suffered heavily from anxiety and it was really unnoticed until a family night out in the local club triggered it again but on a worse scale than before. All that happened was a drunken man stole a drink from behind the bar but it really frightened me. Since I was young around 5 or 6, I have always worried about things but my parents thought I would grow out of it. It all started yet again on a family night out with my parents and grandparents, when as we decided to leave a drunken young man stood up. He was shouting at my Dad for no apparent reason and my Dad just ignored him. As a result of this he was smashed over the head with a chair. This sparked a large brawl in a club where there were lots of families.

I still remember, clearly that night and before I recovered from my problems, I had taken what what had happened to my Dad and developed it into my own problem. From that point I feared going out of the doors of the house without one of my parents. They did everything for me and I knew it was the easy option to getting out of everything. However, this was only part of my fear as a whole. I really feared gangs of youths and hoodies, people which I associated with trouble. I feared they would beat me up or stab me, I created scenarios in my head where this happened and that was a major contributor as to why I always took the easy route out of it. It was a terrible thought for me as a 15 year old boy, my family always said I had the world at my feet but I could never work out how when I would lock myself inside the house everyday, from getting home after school. Another factor is the fact that I was beaten up outside my door by a boy, I was once friends with but for no reason I know of, he beat me up. This was a one-off thing but I convinced myself that it wasn’t and it would happen again. I now know that the chances of this happening again is so slim. Without the support of my parents through these extremely difficult times, I wouldn’t know how to cope and I wouldn’t have been to the retreat.

Charles and Kyle outside Parliament

I felt really bad with my problem, I was constantly taking my problems out on those around me, often getting myself in to big arguments but I know that I couldn’t have an argument with anyone else. I was scared of going out. My mood usually changed a few times a day but I never seemed to be extremely happy. I only ever seemed to be angry, frustrated, sad or in need of a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to. I kept my problem very much under lock and key, where the only people that knew about it were my family and close family friends. I really stressed out the people around me though and at times my parents refused to take me to where I wanted to go, like football training. I often frustrated them about how I wouldn’t just go out and get on the bus like everyone else my age would.

I have tried various treatments but if im honest none of them ever worked until I went on the Linden method. I had CBT and family therapy but they both had different reasons as to why they didn’t work. I had the family therapy first, where I didn’t say how I felt truthfully, in front of my parents or my sisters. If I had to have a reason as to why it would probably be how they would react but that was stupid of me to think that as they are the most supportive parents a child could want. The CBT was the second therapy I had but it didn’t really work because it seemed they pressured you into facing your fears. For example one week they said to me, ‘right Kyle, your challenge for this week is to go and get on that bus to the football.’ This didn’t work for me but they decided they would discharge me off their system, believing I had made progress, when I hadn’t At this time, I joined a group which my sister goes to as they always saw me with my Mum or Dad taking her to it. I joined up and the leader helped me to a certain point by getting me to interact with others but not the sorts of people I feared.

So through being at this group they got asked if they had anyone who would benefit from a TV show, so the leader suggested I applied. At first I said no but my parents said it could be what you need in order to get better. So with their opinions taken into account I applied and got through. The show is called Gok’s teens. There they set me some therapy up with the Linden method. I spent a day at home with the method’s leader Charles for some filming and he explained what actually was wrong with me and assured me he would get me better. Then I was invited to the retreat by Charles in Worcestershire and again I was promised I would come home a changed person, for the better.

So after speaking to Charles for the first time, I was feeling positive about everything regarding my anxiety, for the first time ever. Then we set off to the retreat full of hope and optimism about the possibilities of me making a full recovery and that is the first time, in my life I have felt that way and I strongly believed I would. I’m so happy about it all. We got to the retreat and after a while the nerves started to slowly disappear as everyone began talking and enjoying themselves. Its a great feeling knowing you can talk to someone who is in your situation now and people that have beat it and recovered. You also feel less pressured and sad because they know how you feel and its like a big weight being lifted off of your shoulders, as you know its not just you. Then I did sessions on things like posture with all the other sufferers along with a few one-to-one sessions with Charles. In the sessions we spoke about things like how I would how I would overcome fears at my own speed and how I need to change the way I act in my environment back home. Without the help I got I wouldn’t be anxiety free and doing things I have only ever been able to dream of doing a lot of my life.

Now I don’t rely on people to run me all over the place. I will now use public transport. The best thing about it is that I am now going out across the country, I went to London,and then Manchester without my Mum and Dad being by my side. I want to keep going places. I think that my journey has been quite remarkable as I was scared to leave the house before I met Charles. A lot will change after a visit to the retreat.

Thanks to everyone at the Linden method, I can do things on my own. I feel like a new person, I hope other people in my situation can benefit ans get out of their bad situation and end up in a great one. All you need to do is do what the people at the Linden method say. They have the answers!

Take care everyone.

Kyle Vanes